Sensory Integration

Sensory Integration refers to how people use the information provided by all the sensations coming from within the body and from the external environment. We usually think of the senses as separate channels of information, but they actually work together to give us a reliable picture of the world and our place in it. Your senses integrate to form a complete understanding of who you are, where you are, and what is happening around you. Because your brain uses information about sights, sounds, textures, smells, tastes, and movement in an organized way, you assign meaning to your sensory experiences, and you know how to respond and behave accordingly.

I remember when Madelyn was 3 years old and we were on our way to Pennsylvania for my Grandparents 75th wedding anniversary. This entailed our first experience taking Madelyn on an airplane. Once we got in the airport, she screamed and pulled on me like her skin was on fire. This screaming did NOT stop. Bear in mind, this is pre-diagnosis and pre-sensory integration techniques...By the time we got on the plane, my head was pounding and my back had sharp pains radiating from bottom to top. My parents suggested mid-flight that I take a break in the front of the plane (it may have been the flight attendant seat because it was alone). I agreed and made my way to the seat. I sat down and went numb. I could hear Madelyn screaming in the distance. I remember feeling the tears roll down my face, but being disconnected from the full emotion of the situation. It was and is the worst experience in the history of my daughter and my relationship. I realized when we put her in her carseat in the car that she calmed down. This spurred the idea to keep her in the car seat as much as possible. In fact, on the return flight we carried her in the car seat through the airport. Imagine carrying a 3 year old in a car seat through a huge airport! We got creative and put her at the top of our luggage carrier as we sprinted through the terminal.

I look back on that experience in a different way now. I realize the reason my daughter was screaming like her skin was on fire, is because it was...her nervous system was so under-developed that all of the commotion, people, noises, smells, and luggage attacked her senses and she had no way to discern or make sense of what was happening. Not long after that trip Madelyn was diagnosed with a Pervasive Developmental Disorder and she began early intervention which included Sensory Integration. We were taught a brushing technique that helped to stimulate her nervous system releasing endorphins to counteract the constant flood of adrenaline in her system. Within two weeks of this treatment, Madelyn began eating different food textures and increased her tolerance of touch...and stopped screaming.

I wonder how this concept of sensory integration is reflected in my spiritual autism. I have more questions than answers. Do my senses create an accurate picture of the world? Do my senses create an accurate picture of God and what He is doing in the world? Can I surrender to the possibility that God loves my daughter more than me? Can I accept the sensory input that tells me to release my white-knuckle grip on my daughter and allow God to use her to help people learn what it is to be like Jesus? What sensory integration intervention do I need? I feel like I hide from the cure to my ailment. In my own way, I scream and kick as I insist upon total control of my life. The closest comparison I have to the brushing technique in my spiritual life is my attempts at practicing the discipline of solitude and sabbath. At first this "brushing" feels like added pressure, but after a significant amount of time, it releases peace that counteracts my anxiety. Time in surrender, alone with God never fails. I am filled with complete understanding of who I am, where I am, and what is happening around me.

When life gets busy with phone calls, emails, meetings, kids' homework, cooking, cleaning, social obligations, service obligations and family responsibilities...it can be hard to discern the whisper of God. Our minds can stay on full blast and miss the gentle rest that brings refreshment.

How long has it been since someone recognized you calm down in your "car seat"? How long has it been since you allowed God to "brush" through your hurt, your addiction, your grief, your control, your fear or your pride?